Program Notes
Welcome, and thank you for your interest in my show. “Untangled” is my story — as honestly as I can tell it — based on my memories and lived experience. It is often dark, often funny, often poignant, and … often all of the above … all at the same time. Which might seem illogical or at a minimum improbable … but it is not. It just requires the proper perspective, and for so much of my life, I had none of that.
And I don’t have it all now, nor will I ever — because if we remain alive in the world, all of our stories are continuously evolving. Mine certainly is. I started thinking about this show about two years ago and started actually picking songs for it maybe 18 months ago and started writing it in earnest well over a year ago. And the story has changed and evolved massively since I started. Turns out I didn’t even really know my own story until I wrote it — and I hope that process continues until I shuffle off this mortal coil.
And our memories are most certainly full of — let’s not call them lies so much as refractions — that make the certainty of some of the stories and details I present questionable. And while I’ve tried to stay as factual as possible, what you are about to hear is my perspective, my lived experience as it’s taken root inside me. I make no claims to anyone else’s views or versions of their lived experiences where they intersect with mine. That is their story and not mine to tell.
But I am as certain as I can be about this: You can quibble with some details or dates or who said or did what in any part of this story — and if you have played such a role in my life, I hope you do — but the overall tale is very much my own True North. It is, in fact, where I started and where I came to and how — at least as of right now. And my intention in telling it — in doing the exploration and excavation necessary to tell it — was to find clarity and peace in my own life and to better spend the time I have left here enjoying, and sharing, that clarity and peace.
But I really don’t need an audience to do all that … so why bother with theaters and lights and sound and theatrics? That’s the sharing part. Because if even one person here tonight spends some time thinking a bit more about their own life and granting themselves some grace, this will have been an enormous success. The writing of this, the putting of it together, that exploration and excavation — that is all the gift I could ever want or need, and I got it. Thanks for giving me a chance to share it with you. It is indeed a great leap of faith on your part, and it fills me with gratitude.
Credits
Concept and theme by ……….. John O’Leary
Written by ………… John & Erin O’Leary
Produced by ……… John O’Leary
Ron Bielanski
Liam Pietraszewski
Erin O’Leary
Lighting/tech support ….. Jon Yawn
Website ……… Erin O’Leary
About the Songs
There are 21 songs in this show. They range from songs I heard well over 40 years ago to songs I just recently learned. They are not listed in the program by intention — it would detract from the story if you happened to know the song and were anticipating it while I’m telling the story. It’s a distraction and not helpful to the narrative. But if any of the songs resonate with you, there will be a list and some notes on each of them posted on this site after the show that will take you to a directory of the songs and where to find them, along with an explanation of my own connection to the song and information about the arrangements and versions, since many of them are very different from the originally recorded art.
Acknowledgments:
There is no way any of this happens — no way I get to live this dream (both putting on this show and … well … living this life) — without the support, belief, insight, and love of my beautiful wife, Erin. She has walked this path with me every step of the way and has been my sounding board, my biggest cheerleader, and my inspiration for staying with the dream when my own belief began to falter — which was often. She has also been my editor and reality checker and true partner in producing this — so much so that by the time we got to the final version, we realized she needed to be credited as a co-writer. This show is told from my perspective, but it is really our story. We lived it separately, lost in the wilderness all those years, and then came together to produce the ending we both had been seeking our entire lives. You’ll see me up on that stage, but she is right there next to me at every moment. ❤️🔑 ❤️
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Not too long before I started thinking about writing this show, I had started to tell my story much more honestly to my own kids, Emily and Jackson. Not even because I wanted them to know my story so much as I realized my story was inextricably tied to the stories of those who came before me and came up with me. My parents and their parents and friends and lovers and so many more — people who made up not only my DNA, but — way more importantly — my perception of myself. And those people shared almost none of their stories with me, and it left me blind to understanding myself and cost me a lot. So, instead of leaving my own kids blind and wondering why they feel the way they do, I decided to just put it out there — all the shame and glory and everything in between — so they could better understand the forces that shaped them and maybe not struggle quite so hard in their lives as I did in mine. And as I told them the stories, I started to see myself differently, and that provided me the courage I needed to even attempt this. You two inspire me to be better every day, and I love you. ❤️🙏🏻❤️
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Two of my oldest friends have played big, but very different, roles in this. My friend David – with whom I’ve been trying to do creative things with since we were in high school – has always been a barometer for whether my ideas had any merit. (He’s also been very direct about it, having missed the high school course in bedside manner.) And when I presented this to him, I started with, “You’re going to think this is a stupid idea, but…” But this time, he did not think that and has been extremely supportive of my journey. Thank you. Cooler still, my old friend Ron Bielanski – one of the guys from my high school crew who I pretty much lost touch with about 15 years ago but who has been part of the Chicago music scene forever - volunteered to help with “sound” when I reached out to my group about the show. Since I know nothing about the technical side of this, I decided to take a flyer and accept. He jumped right in and is now the producer of the show and has made it sooooo much better in so many ways. Better yet, turns out our stories ain’t so different after all … and we are now as close as we’ve been since we met at 13 or 14 years old. Win-win. He also brought along his nephew, Liam Pietraszewski, to be the guitar tech — but he’s turned out to be so much more than that. He has, like Ron, added so much to the production and presentation and been just a beautiful addition. Erin and Ron and Liam have been through all the rehearsals with me, and if this looks even slightly polished, all credit goes to them. 🤟🏻
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The songwriters whose music populates this show are very much family to me, even though I don’t know them personally. In the absence of knowing my own story or the stories of those behind me, I was lost as to the narrative of my own life. But starting at maybe age 7 or 8, I started to find my own story through them sharing theirs. On the radio and 8-track tapes and cassettes and vinyl and compact discs and downloads and streams. Without them, I never get through this thing — because I had no sense of self. But their music provided enough – enough recognition of myself in their words and melodies – to at least know I wasn’t alone and to maybe even see that there was a way forward. I chose deliberately not to include any songs I’ve written in this show, because the reality is, the entire thing is a tribute to those artists — the ones in the show and so many others — who gave me a story I could hang onto when I could not see my own. The first record I ever bought was when I was 9 years old and my soul drew me to this:
“… Thanks for the joy that you’ve given me
I want you to know I believe in your song
Rhythm and rhyme and harmony
You’ve helped me along
Making me strong …”
Doby Gray – “Drift Away”